COVID-19

This month, Lilah got a new preschool teacher. It was so out of the blue. On friday afternoon, her teacher sent out a message that she would not be returning and on Monday morning Lilah had a new teacher. His name was Mr. Ledesma. I don't know if it's because he is a male but I wasn't really comfortable leaving Lilah. She also starting hating staying which definitely did not make make me feel good. 

He ended up having a parent teacher meeting which me and 2 other moms attending. It put my nerves at ease and I realized that he was much more stricter than the previous teacher. The previous teacher sometimes let me walk Lilah in to the classroom but this teacher wanted structure and didn't want the parents staying long. I didn't like that but was willing to give it a try. 

The first week was hard. I don't like someone taking Lilah from me specially while she is crying, but I gave the teacher a chance. After 1 week, all of the kids were listening and following directions (something that had not happened before). The first week was definitely rough. The kids were all crying in the morning. It was a hard week of transition for all of us. Thankfully I waited out for a week before pulling Lilah out of school. It also made me feel better knowing there were aids in the room that knew the kids and were great with them. 

I also loved mornings with just David and I.

We had a little routine down and I loved spending my mornings with him. He also liked napping while Lilah was at school so I got to enjoy working out and cleaning without helpers. It's hard for me to wake up early but I always looked forward to Me time. 

This month I decided to have some more me time with a haircut. I'm slowly making better choices to feel better about myself. Both in and out. 

This month was also the last time I nursed David. Such mixed emotions. I was definitely ready to get a good night's sleep and I think breast milk was not enough to keep him full all night long. We were both ready for it though I always miss nursing my babies. 

Monthly pictures. This was before picture day. Unfortunately it was raining, so her hair never made it. By the way I never got these pictures, I wonder what happened to them. 

My cute girl, always so beautiful. 

And the happiest, handsomest little boy I have ever seen. 

The last bag of breast milk. 

I thought it was funny that Lilah wanted to stop at the donut shop after preschool. Sometimes she asks for a popsicle at the ice cream stand. She is too cute so we had to stop. 

Lilah is learning how to use her imagination every day. She loves playing mommy and hauling around a million things in her backpack. If you are ever missing anything, you can go look inside Lilah's bags and probably find it. 

I've also loved watching these two play more together. Lilah is still not sure about her brother most days, specially because he usually messes up her things but we are still working on it. 

Another day at work with one of my work besties. 

March 14th was the last day we went to school. That entire week I had seen people keeping their kids from school but I wasn't sure if this was just an exaggeration or what. I continued to take Lilah to school hoping it would pass but that Friday they decided to close down the schools. That's when everything became more real. I hadn't been watching the news to closely because it is usually full of false information but it was crazy to see the panic in people. A couple of month's before, I had bought food storage and had ordered a water filter to have clean water for our family without having to go buy some. Oh boy was I sure thankful for those things. As soon as they closed down school, panic swept over the state. 

I saw videos of people fighting for toilet paper at the grocery stores. The stores were swamped with people all trying to buy frozen food and cleaning supplies. In Italy they had shut down the country and ordered people to shelter in place so people started panicking and hoarding supplies which led to a shortage. I didn't really know exactly how bad things were because thankfully I had just gone to the store and stocked up on everything we needed. I was so grateful for that. 

Our days quickly changed and we started a new norm. Our days consisted of waking up, breakfast, morning walks, David napping, Lilah doing preschool at home. I had even bought a preschool curriculum a couple of moths prior. I knew things around us were changing but we stayed in the haven of our home and kept all of the junk and craziness that was happening out of our home. 

I wanted my babies to not know anything had changed. Lilah sometimes asked for school, but since she had only been in school a little over 2 months, our lives were really impacted. Michael and I still worked and I was home most days with the babies. The only thing is they started shutting things down. At that time we thought it would only be temporary. Every week things seemed to be changing. 

The only things that were open were food places. Grocery stores, restaurants, and some "essential stores" like Home Depot, utility places, Target and Walmart. All smaller businesses were to shut down. 

I thought school would be only closed for a week or two but every week they kept extending the opening time. First it was a month. That was surprising. Then it turned into the rest of the school year. Families were greatly impacted as this used to be daycare for them while they worked. Places of business were shut down and people began to get fired. Again, I tried to keep from watching the news because it was just so devastating. I would start thinking about kids who relied on school as their safe haven from their abusive parents. Who relied on school as safety and a free meal. I thought about spousal abuse as tensions were high with people losing their jobs. Every week that passed was a week without a pay check. Mike and I were lucky to be considered "Essential" and were still aloud to work. It was depressing to see the amount of people losing their jobs. Small businesses were impacted the worst. People's businesses had to be closed down, some for good. It was just too much. I couldn't take it all in and still be ok, so I decided to shut it out. The only time I would go out was to work and that was a reminder that things were not ok.

Work was changing every day it seemed like. At first, no one was allowed personal protective equipment. They had it locked. Locked! What in the world!? During a pandemic when a virus is spreading and we need to protect ourselves more than ever, the equipment was locked. The following week only people who are around patient who have COVID were allowed protective equipment. The following week protective equipment was a MUST. It was all so confusing. It was scary. It was definitely eye opening to see that no one truly cares about nurses. 

Things in New York city were the worst. I think our hospitals hoarded all protective supplies in case things got as bad as New York. People were dying in the masses at New York. In Italy, they rationed ventilators and it had started happening in New York. I was so confused as to what to believe. The panic would definitely kick in. I worried about my babies. Most people who carried the virus were asymptomatic. They said it mostly affected the old but more and more people of all ages were starting to get affected by it. It was all so confusing. 

The fact that schools had closed down for the rest of the year made things more real. 

Then they cancelled Stake Conference, then General Conference and then they shut down churches. It was definitely a time of uncertainty but there was peace knowing the prophet had rolled out the Come Follow Me curriculum last year and we had all been learning from home for the past year. The prophet had also said that this conference would be one to remember, and oh boy was he right! 

I hated the feeling of now knowing if I was going to be able to provide for my babies. I was worried I wouldn't be able to find formula, diaper or wipes. I had seen videos of mothers on the internet crying that they couldn't find supplies. I was so grateful I had enough of everything to last me a month but I wasn't sure how long this would last. 

My neighbor's husband with alzheimers passed away amid the chaos. She woudn't even be able to have a funeral for him. We weren't allowed to have any gatherings so funerals were not allowed. It was all just sad. Most the people I know were not affected by the shutting down of businesses, but I was saddened about the few that were. Everyone has bills. Everyone needs food. Everyone has needs. 

Like I said, our home was definitely a safe haven for us at this time. Within these walls we were safe, free from worry, away from all the chaos. We had shelter, we were healthy, and we had everything we needed. 

We got used the a new routine of not seeing anyone. I did enjoy seeing families out on bike rides and walks during the day. That was something we didn't see before. 

The babies became better friends. They started playing more together since they only had each other. 

Lilah took a picture of me and it actually came out ok. She probably sees me take pictures of her all the time. 

My babies and I played and played. We were safe in our home. I had everything I could possible need and want with my little family. 

We had at home church for the first time and I loved it. Although we were at church, the spirit was there during our little lesson for Lilah. We had an opening song, said a prayer, had a lesson and finished with an activity. 

Later that day since things hadn't gotten as strict yet, we went over to grandma's for some treats. 

Lilah's imagination grew and I loved watching her make a little house out of household items. She loved playing with her dolls and looked forward to baby brother waking up from his nap. 

Every day we would go and pick up our free school lunch and then Lilah would eat it during our walk. After our walk, we would stop and play in the grass by the park. Parks were closed and you were not allowed to gather around anyone, so it was just us on the grass. 

The other day I had posted to see online and asked if people thought David looked like me or his dad. Here are some fun pictures we found since Lilah had pulled out an old album. 

Who do you think he looks like?