David learns to walk

I love watching these 2 drink their milk together. Lilah always wants to have a milk just like baby brother. 

Arm full of babies:)

Sometimes David just wants to be held, so baby carrier it is

My mom got David this little car and the kids love it

David loves being pushed by sister

Lilah got David some food and sat him on the table to eat with him

I love the way David smells. I love walking into his room because it smells like him

I love how silly Lilah is getting. She loves to make me laugh

My sister sent me cookies for Mother's Day, so sweet!

These two love riding in their little car. David first perfectly in Lilah's lap

David is getting so big and tall

Lilah's favorite thing to do right now is to lay down blankets and put all the toys on her blanket

David loves his blanket. He always goes to sleep sniffing his blanket

These two are slowly learning how to play with each other. Some days they fight more than play. Lilah loves to boss brother around. Other days they play so cute together. 

My beautiful 3 year old. 

Lilah immediately took her shirt off when she saw that we were going to have spaghetti. 

I love how cute David looks with his blanket

On May 7th, Marcia came over to drop something off and she pointed out that David had stood up on his own. I turned around and sure enough he had sat up by himself from standing position. 

He practiced for about 2 weeks before starting to take little steps. 

So far, I have seen him take 13 steps. 

The babies helping me make sourdough chocolate chip bread

David eating his peanut butter and nutella sandwhich

Practicing taking steps. It was 2 weeks after he stood up on his own that he started getting braver with his steps. 

I took Lilah to her post op tubes ENT appointment and it was a reminder that the world is different now. When we got there, we were greeted by 2 nurses in full PPE who screened us for CORONA virus and took our temperature. When we got upstairs, we were to stay 6 feet away from people. The appointments were scattered to only see one patient at a time. The chairs were also 6 feet apart. This is a new way of life. 

The bishop went around taking ice cream to all of the kids in Primary. It was so sweet!

David is such a picky eater, he was not so sure about this popsicle. 

This month has been so weird. With Corona Virus, and Riots happening, we are so blessed to be in the safe haven of our home. Lilah loves playing outside all day and we are so grateful to have so many fun toys to play with in our home. I can't imagine those kids who are stuck in unsafe, violent homes. I'm glad the babies have no idea what a wicked world they are living in right now. 

George Floyd

After a couple of days of seeing the name George Floyd in my social media, I finally decided to see what everyone was talking about. I looked it up after hearing that an innocent man was murdered on the street at the hands of 4 police officers. I finally watched a short clip that was put up by a news station. I saw what they were talking about. A police officer kneeling on the back of his neck while he pleaded for help and repeated that he could not breath. I couldn't get myself to watch the real clip. After about 2 days of not being able to forget about it, I finally watched it. After watching that clip, it completely changed me. Everything I thought I knew about racism changed. What I thought I felt about racism changed. I was a different person after watching that clip. All of a sudden all of the riots, all of the anger, all of the hate towards the police made sense.  I understood why Colin Kaepernick from the San Francisco 49rs took a knee during the National Anthem. It wasn't about being disrespectful towards veterans. It wasn't about being disrespectful towards the flag. It was about making a statement. I see why people choose to riot vs have a peaceful protest. Because after all of these years of peaceful protesting, not a thing has changed. This morning I watched a video about conversations black parents have with their black children. A father talked about a conversation he had his with 8 year old and a saying she learned to say in case she was ever pulled over by police. The little black 8 year old was taught to say "I am (her name) and I am unarmed, please don't hurt me" That immediately put a big knot in my throat. I am so privileged to not have to have those conversations with my children. I don't live in fear wondering if my children will "fit the description" I also learned that the saying "I want my children to be colorblind" should not be the goal. Instead it should be "I see you, I see your skin, and it is beautiful" Also that saying "I don't see race" is ignoring racism. I learned that it is not enough to be non-racist, we must be antiracist. I learned it's not enough to be silently unracist but we must speak up for our black brothers and sisters. We must use our privilege to stand up for them. Something they do not have the privilege of doing without being shot on the spot. This week changed me. It changed the way I see black people. To be honest, I have not been around black people very often in my life.

After watching the video of George Floyd last night I kept watching videos on You Tube. I started watching videos of victims who had been abused. Young girls. I just kept going down this rabbit hole of evil. It made me wonder how in the world I was supposed to keep my children safe.

People on the streets were rioting over opening up California due to Corona Virus. And then innocent black men are being killed by cops and now watching videos of girls being molested by their gymnastics doctor. It made me think about my Lilah. About how I am supposed to protect her. She will be so vulnerable when she is a teenager. I am scared of her being abused now, specially since she cannot talk and tell me if someone has touched her inappropriately.

This world is so sick right now. It feels like we are in the middle of hopefully some good change. But change is hard and uncomfortable.

This is such a scary time to be raising little children. I don't trust any man around my children. It is somewhat mentally exhausting. I hope that I can equipt my children with the right tools to become strong and confident teenagers and young adults.

David's 1st Birthday!

1 year old pictures with sister because she wanted to tag along. 

This one describes David's silly personality perfectly. I love it! 

David eating a delicious meal of cheerios and a yogurt shake. 

This boy figured out the straw like a champ. But then he decided to bath himself with his yogurt. 

The other day I was just so tired so I told Lilah to watch a movie while the baby and I laid down. Apparently she was feeling tired too because I walked out to this. 

I had to work the days before David's birthday so we made David's cake 2 days before the big day since I wouldn't have time to make it on Monday. 

I saw this cute construction cake online so we went with that theme. The cake turned out so cute and oh so delicious! 

Before work, Lilah and I had lunch outside. The days have been so beautiful lately. 

Thank you daddy for a yummy dinner. 

Before I left for work, I took the babies out on a walk. I'm so lucky to be able to work while the babies sleep but it's always hard to leave home no matter what. 

Happy 1st birthday happy boy! David always wakes up so happy in the mornings. He is just a happy baby over all!

Monday morning, I woke up early and we ordered some Mexican food. Grandma and grandpa came over to celebrate this cute boy with us. 

It was the most perfect day celebrating my little boy. I want to squeeze him so tight sometimes. He is just so cute and happy. 

I love you so, so, so much David!!!  You will never know how great my love for you is. And that's ok. I will always love you and hope that you know that. 

Happy 1st birthday my sweet baby.