I keep telling myself to hurry and blog Lilah's birth story before I forget everything. I will do my best to remember but it already seems like it's been forever and things are so blurry when you're in labor.
So, first of all, our baby girl decided that she wanted to stay put. My due date came and went and there were no signs of Lilah (Other than Braxton Hicks)
This was me before her due date. On Christmas day I made sure I sat and did NOTHING because I did NOT want my baby to share a birthday with baby Jesus. It was hard enough that her birthday was going to be so close to Christmas. Sorry baby girl!
Happy due date to me! I had some false labor the week she was supposed to arrive. I'd wake up in the morning and from around 3-6 AM, I had really bad cramps and had to get up and walk around the house. Mike would heat up the heat packs he made me and I would rock back and forth on my knees and hands in bed to make the pain more tolerable. But then, it would all go away :( I was ready for labor and pain. I had mentally prepared for contractions, but they would always go away after a couple of hours.
41 weeks! We made it to 41 weeks and still had no real signs of labor other than some contractions here and there. I never got super huge and super uncomfortable and probably could've gone for a few more days but my doctor decided to schedule me for an induction. This baby girl just did not want to come out. Even though physically I felt great, I was emotionally exhausted from all of the anticipation and the what if's and wondering when she would be here.
My poor mom had gotten here since the 9th! and asked for days off of work so that she could be here to help with the baby and I felt SO bad that Lilah was still not here!
I look HUGE from this angle!
I felt that those last couple of days, Lilah was getting bigger and bigger.
Once we had an induction day, I felt more relaxed. I was no longer anxious wondering if today would be the day since I figured Lilah would probably stay put till forever. I was to call the hospital at midnight and go in for my induction at 1 Am if there was a room available for me. Well the day finally came to call the hospital but before I could call them I received a call from the L&D nurse letting me know that they were swamped and there was no room available for me. Agh! I was to call again the next day and try again. I was feeling frustrated, specially because my mom had been at my house for about a month now and she was leaving that weekend!
By this time Armando had arrived from Utah and he had surprised me by bringing my grandma and cousin from Mexico to come visit. I was so happy to see all of them but at the same time I wanted everyone to leave and just leave my mom and I. I knew that this was a very jerk-y way of thinking but at this point all I was thinking was of myself and getting this baby out so my mom could meet her. I felt so bad that I wasn't a very good host to my grandma and cousin but I was just so tired and wanted to lay down. I felt guilty taking naps but I knew I had to, just in case anything happened and Lilah decided to come after all.
The next day I got a call at 10 AM from the charge nurse at L&D telling me to come in at 11. Mike had gone out for a run and thankfully I was up and getting ready to get in the shower when she called. I told my mom it was go time and we hurried and put all of my hospital stuff in the car. We got there at about 1110 and they were ready for me. I was so happy with how smooth everything was going and was pleased to have a nurse who was ready to go and get things started.
Arriving at the hospital.
Mike was nice enough to drop me off in the front while he went and found parking. I made him get out and snap this pic of me before going in. I was clueless as to what would be happening the next 2 days.
The hospital I was staying at was new and I had a big room all to myself. Thank goodness because my sister in law, Ann said inductions took forever, specially for a new mom.
Mike said he needed to get his sleep in before labor started. He sure got lots of sleep time in!
So jealous! The nurse told me to rest while I could, but I couldn't. My mind was wondering thinking about this new baby that was coming.
They decided to start me off with PO meds to soften my cervix and hope to jump start things. It would also help make Pitocin more effective. It was a tiny pill that I got every 4 hours. Before giving me the pill the nurse checked to see how dilated I was. She said I was dilated to about a 1 1/2, boo! This was definitely going to be a long day. The nurse also asked me if my baby's head was down. I immediately worried that she had flipped! The nurse couldn't feel Lilah's head so she decided to go and get the ultrasound machine to check. When she came back I was so nervous! I had done everything possible to make sure Lilah's head was down because I wanted to have a natural delivery. Lilah had been transverse most of my pregnancy so when she finally went into position I made sure to do all the hippie yoga moves to keep her head down. When she finally saw that her head was down she commented on how high up she still was. Lilah hadn't dropped yet. It's like she was holding on to my ribs because she did not want out. The nurse said that hopefully as the day progressed she would engage more and work her way down.
That afternoon Joel and Priscilla came to visit. I had warned them that it would be a long process. I think they were still hoping they would come and meet their new niece that night. I think we all were.
I tried my best to distract myself all day, before I knew it, it was night time.
Here is Mike getting some more of that beauty sleep.
The next day at 2 AM my water broke. I had gotten up to go to the bathroom and felt water dripping down my leg. I asked the nurse if that was from my water breaking and she said it was probably the jelly she used to check my cervix. I was like, well how much jelly did you use exactly?! Okay I didn't really say that I just thought it but I knew that was no jelly. I got up to pee and the water kept coming out. I got out of the bathroom and called her back into my room to tell her again that I thought my water broke. She decided to put pads and a towel underneath me and a minute later there was no doubt my membranes had ruptured. It was like Niagara Falls down there!
From the moment my water broke the contractions started coming. They were coming about every 2-5 minutes and were getting quite uncomfortable. After a couple of hours of enduring those contractions, they starting coming more frequently and stronger. All morning I endured the pain. I had to get up because the pain intensified from laying in bed. Hours and hours passed and I was not dilating. I thought for sure that every time they checked me I would have advanced. I was so tired and the only thing that got me through the pain was doing my breathing exercises. That's when things started going wrong. After hours of contractions I was starting to get really tired. The pain was still manageable but I couldn't catch a break. Sometimes the contractions would come every minute but they wouldn't last long. The frequency was intensifying but not the duration. If I was going to be getting all of those contractions I at least wanted them to be strong enough to help get labor started.
The contractions kept coming but labor was not progressing. Just like the nurse had mentioned the day before, Lilah was really high up. Since she was so high she was not hitting my cervix and therefore I was not dilating. It felt like I was just having useless contractions. At this time, the nurse could not check me as often anymore because my membranes had ruptured and she didn't want to cause an infection. The last time she had checked me I was dilated to a 3, ONLY a 3! The nurse said I was doing great for being a first time mom and keeping calm through my contractions. All of those videos on YouTube sure helped keep me breathing, calm and relaxed. I could hear next door a girl was crying bloody murder. Maybe that was the nurse's other patient. Poor girl.
The hours passed and 12 pm rolled around. I was so tired. I was having so many contractions but they were useless. The nurse checked me. I was sure I was at least at an 8! When she checked me she said you're about a 3 1/2. What! Agh! No way! She had started mentioning epidural to me. All this time I felt that the contractions were still manageable but now that the Pitocin had started they were coming more frequently. I was tired. I decided to give in and ask for the epidural, except for the part where I couldn't get one until I was 4 cm. She checked me again about 2 pm and I swear she said 4cm just to end my suffering. I was nervous about the epidural. My mom said hers still hurts and I had a friend who got paralyzed for months from an epidural. I was so tired I was willing to give it a try at this point.
The anesthesiologist came in soon. Later on I heard that some girls were begging for an epidural but he couldn't get to them because he was so busy. That made me grateful that I had gotten one as soon as I was 4cm. As soon as he came in, he looked over my paperwork and said, "Oh you're a nurse!" My nurse looked up at me and said "You're a nurse? I didn't know that" I hadn't told the last 2 nurses that I was a nurse because I have little to no knowledge about labor and delivery. I also didn't want to be snobby. After they both knew I was a nurse the mood changed a bit. It's like they knew I spoke their language so things were easier to explain. The anesthesiologist began prepping his sterile field. I did my best to breath through the contractions while he worked on me. I could feel the needle going in but it wasn't bad, just some stinging. After my epidural, the nurse started my IV and kept telling me to lay down immediately. I kept telling her my leg was stuck on the sheets but she was so adamant about me laying down so I wouldn't be paralyzed on only half of my body. I laid down and felt this warm feeling go through my body. I also got this big pressure headache. At this point things hadn't gone exactly as planned and when I started to get a headache I thought, oh great what now? I told the nurse but she said she'd keep an eye on it. Thankfully it never went to more than just a headache.
After the epidural things were great! I was able to take a much needed nap. Finally some relief! When the nurse had called me the day before to tell me there was a room available for me, I was so eager to get to the hospital that I forgot to have breakfast. When I got there I was only able to have fluids and now that I had the epidural I was only allowed to have ice chips. Needless to say that nap was much needed to get some energy back. Things slowed down after the epidural as they usually do. I kept thinking what if I wouldn't pushed through, would things have advanced on their own? But I knew the answer was no. All this time I wanted to have a natural birth. I knew the hospital way. Go in, if you take a long time you get an epidural, an epidural slows things down so you get Pitocin, Pitocin increases the baby's heart rate and puts them in distress and off to a C-section you go. I wanted to avoid that route at all cost and it was the exact route we were taking. I was still a little hopeful at this time.
At about 6pm I could feel something was wrong. I started getting SO cold. I started shivering. I told my family to cover me but I don't think they took me too seriously. A few minutes later my entire body was shaking uncontrollably. I couldn't stop moving. I told them to call my nurse in. Poor nurse, it was shift change. Everything always happens at shift change, sorry! She took my temperature and it was only 99 degrees. I was SO cold though. She told me to try to stop moving because that would increase my temperature. Duh, I knew that and yet I was not thinking like a nurse. I should've known better. I tried to take deep breaths to keep my body from shaking so much but it was hard. I kept telling my mom to cover me, also something I should've known not to do. The nurse came in to check on me 30 minutes later and my temperature had spiked to 101.7 degrees. She came in and called the doctor. They took my sheets off and put ice packs on, which I melted through in a matter of minutes. The doctor ordered Tylenol and antibiotics. I was making that poor nurse work so hard. I wanted more icepacks and cold towels to put on myself but I didn't know where things were and the nurse was outside probably getting my meds. I was a little frustrated that I couldn't manage my own fever and start my own IV meds because she was so busy it was taking her a while to do it all. But I was a good patient and kept my mouth shut and left the melted ice packs on my arm pits for an hour while she got my medications all started. At this point my water had been broken since 2AM and they were starting to worry about the baby since her heart rate had increased dramatically since my fever.
Around 7 o'clock the new shift came on. The doctor came in to check me and I was only dilated at a 6! She checked my fever and it had gone down a bit. She said she would come back to check on me again. About 30 minutes later she came in with some papers and said, "It's time" My heart sank. I didn't want this. All of that work. All of that time. All of that useless suffering was going to end in what I desperately did not want.. a C-section. She had me sign consent and the nurses started prepping me within minutes. I already had the epidural and the foley. One of the nurses said, "You're pretty much ready to go, you're making this easy on me." I just thought, how wonderful, I'm glad I could help, NOT!
I was SO frustrated. I held it together while the doctor was in the room but as soon as she left, I lost it. I couldn't believe it. All of that work, all of that pain, to just end up being sliced up. This was not the fairytale ending I had imagined. I wanted that beautiful moment were they place the baby on the mom's belly and I get to hear my baby cry in my arms. Instead it was all going to be sterile and surrounded by a bunch of strangers.
After the epidural things were great! I was able to take a much needed nap. Finally some relief! When the nurse had called me the day before to tell me there was a room available for me, I was so eager to get to the hospital that I forgot to have breakfast. When I got there I was only able to have fluids and now that I had the epidural I was only allowed to have ice chips. Needless to say that nap was much needed to get some energy back. Things slowed down after the epidural as they usually do. I kept thinking what if I wouldn't pushed through, would things have advanced on their own? But I knew the answer was no. All this time I wanted to have a natural birth. I knew the hospital way. Go in, if you take a long time you get an epidural, an epidural slows things down so you get Pitocin, Pitocin increases the baby's heart rate and puts them in distress and off to a C-section you go. I wanted to avoid that route at all cost and it was the exact route we were taking. I was still a little hopeful at this time.
At about 6pm I could feel something was wrong. I started getting SO cold. I started shivering. I told my family to cover me but I don't think they took me too seriously. A few minutes later my entire body was shaking uncontrollably. I couldn't stop moving. I told them to call my nurse in. Poor nurse, it was shift change. Everything always happens at shift change, sorry! She took my temperature and it was only 99 degrees. I was SO cold though. She told me to try to stop moving because that would increase my temperature. Duh, I knew that and yet I was not thinking like a nurse. I should've known better. I tried to take deep breaths to keep my body from shaking so much but it was hard. I kept telling my mom to cover me, also something I should've known not to do. The nurse came in to check on me 30 minutes later and my temperature had spiked to 101.7 degrees. She came in and called the doctor. They took my sheets off and put ice packs on, which I melted through in a matter of minutes. The doctor ordered Tylenol and antibiotics. I was making that poor nurse work so hard. I wanted more icepacks and cold towels to put on myself but I didn't know where things were and the nurse was outside probably getting my meds. I was a little frustrated that I couldn't manage my own fever and start my own IV meds because she was so busy it was taking her a while to do it all. But I was a good patient and kept my mouth shut and left the melted ice packs on my arm pits for an hour while she got my medications all started. At this point my water had been broken since 2AM and they were starting to worry about the baby since her heart rate had increased dramatically since my fever.
Around 7 o'clock the new shift came on. The doctor came in to check me and I was only dilated at a 6! She checked my fever and it had gone down a bit. She said she would come back to check on me again. About 30 minutes later she came in with some papers and said, "It's time" My heart sank. I didn't want this. All of that work. All of that time. All of that useless suffering was going to end in what I desperately did not want.. a C-section. She had me sign consent and the nurses started prepping me within minutes. I already had the epidural and the foley. One of the nurses said, "You're pretty much ready to go, you're making this easy on me." I just thought, how wonderful, I'm glad I could help, NOT!
I was SO frustrated. I held it together while the doctor was in the room but as soon as she left, I lost it. I couldn't believe it. All of that work, all of that pain, to just end up being sliced up. This was not the fairytale ending I had imagined. I wanted that beautiful moment were they place the baby on the mom's belly and I get to hear my baby cry in my arms. Instead it was all going to be sterile and surrounded by a bunch of strangers.
This was me mustering up a smile after crying like a little baby. I know I should've been grateful for everything so far. My baby was never in a life or death situation, and neither was I. But at this time I was just being selfish and a big baby.
My mom consoling me through the tears.
Mike all ready for surgery. I tried my best to distract myself because all I wanted to do was cry.
It didn't take long to prep me. The surgery room was just on the other side of the hall. The nurses were trying to figure out a new machine, which took the longest because they didn't know how to turn it on. Very reassuring.
Trying to smile
Finally baby Lilah was here
She didn't cry for too long. As you can see she was busy checking everyone out around her.
My little alien
Since she was born this little girl has been so bright eyed and alert!
I was just laying there staring at a blue sheet feeling sorry for myself wondering what in the world everyone was up to
I kept telling Mike to take lots of pictures since I couldn't see
I wanted to make sure he captured all of those first moments since I would be missing them
The NICU team was there to check Lilah since her heart rate had gone up and I had, had a fever.
I think they said her fever was up a little bit but not enough to worry about anything
I'm glad Mike captured all of these moments
Michael cutting the cord
Someone was nice enough to offer holding the camera while he cut the cord
Then I finally got to meet Lilah
Michael put her right under my chin, she was hard to see since he had her right up against my face. I couldn't believe that was my kid. I think since I didn't see them pull her out of me, It was hard to believe that, that little baby was mine.
Michael and his big fat arm covering my face. Even the pictures that I had dreamed about didn't happen that night. One day I'll stop complaining about it all. I should really just be grateful.
And now that my face is not covered Michael decided not to look, we're definitely hiring a photographer next time.
She was so small. 6 lb 10 oz.
19 inches long.
After they took Lilah out I got his HORRIBLE pain in my upper arm. When I couldn't handle it anymore I told the anesthesiologist and he said it was blood. When he said this I thought he meant that I had received blood. I thought maybe they had placed an IV in my arm and I hadn't noticed (I must've been really out of it) When we made it to the recovery room I told the anesthesiologist again that my arm was really hurting. I was afraid to tell him again because he had already explained to me and I was a nurse so I should've known better. He told me again that it was probably blood. This time I understood what he meant. He said blood had probably traveled up to my arm which was causing the pain. I was embarrassed that I had asked again but he didn't seem to mind. I knew you could get air which usually travels to your right arm but I didn't know about blood. It was really painful.
FINALLY Mike brought Lilah to me. He had been doing skin to skin with her while they closed me up.
(Which took forever by the way, I had started shaking again and my arm was hurting. I thought oh great I'm going to die here and no one is even paying attention to me. Like I said, I was a little out of it. After a while I was so tired I think I took a 15 minute nap. When I woke up I was so nauseous. Thank goodness I hadn't had anything to eat for 2 days because I was dry heaving for like 10 minutes, SO embarrassing! )
Finally getting to hold Lilah. I probably look the way I felt.
I was able to feed Lilah and she latched on like a champ! She was on the boob for like 15 minutes and knew exactly what to do. Babies are amazing!
I think they told the grandmas to go wait in the waiting room and that it would take one hour. I think it actually took almost 2 hours so they were all anxiously awaiting for their new grand baby.
When they rolled us into our room they were so excited to meet their new grandbaby. FINALLY!
The look on their faces when they saw her was priceless!
Michael took a bunch of pictures and the excitement on their faces is the BEST! Unfortunately all of the pictures he took were blurry :( Like I said, maybe we'll invest in a photographer next time.
Here's my mom FINALLY meeting her grand baby. Oh, she had waited for this moment for so long.
It was like I had made this little girl for her grandmas. And I was more than ok with that. I could tell it was love at first sight for both of them.
I bought this blanket since Lilah's name was a surprise. No one, except Mike and I, knew her name. The grandmas were so busy taking pictures of Lilah they didn't even notice the blanket, ha!
Tia Priscilla!
Tio Joel!
Wide awake ready to take on the world!
Michael changing the first diaper.
Yup that's poo on his left hand.
A couple of hours after they brought Lilah into our room, the doctor came and said she wanted Lilah to get some antibiotics because I had, had a fever. She said she would rather prevent anything from happening to her because she could get sick very quickly. I was going to be getting antibiotics as well. She said that in order for Lilah to get antibiotics she would have to go to the NICU. After about 30 minutes they took her out and wheeled her to the NICU. I was sad about her leaving us but knew that it was important. I definitely didn't want her to get sick.
I don't know why things happened the way they happened. But, I was grateful to have a healthy baby. I was grateful I didn't die giving birth ( I was pretty worried about that, I like to worry about everything) When I went past my due date I thought, what if this baby is comes the day her grandpa passed away. My father in law, Walt, had passed away December 30th of last year. I thought, what if this baby is holding up until the 30th because she wants to bring this family joy on what is supposed to be a pretty sad day. What if she is still with her papa? What is she is a gift to my mother-in-law from Walt? An lo and behold my Lilah girl came on December 30th. This little soul that came into our lives is something special. I pray every night that Lilah brings joy to those around her and I think my prayers have been answered every day. I see the joy she brings to Marcia, Grandma Nielson, my mom, and her daddy. She was just meant to come on that day. And as much as I look back and wonder why everything happened the way it happened, I know it all happened for a reason and that it was meant to be that way. And that no matter what, Lilah and I were going to be ok. After about a week of antibiotics, Lilah and I never got sick. It turns out I had gotten chorioamnionitis from my membranes being ruptured for 17 hours before giving birth to Lilah. But at the end of the day, we had a healthy girl that we couldn't be more in love with. We love you Lilah Adriana Stewart!
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