I just cannot believe how fast time is flying. I am still in denial about the fact that it is already December and that it is only a matter of weeks until we meet our baby. I just can't seem to wrap my head around it. Me? Having a baby? I keep thinking that this baby is something that we are going to get once we go to the hospital, It's hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that this baby is already here, in my belly.
I'm starting to feel anxious, scared, nervous, and all of those emotions that I'm sure are normal with your first baby. I'm also starting to get worried about all of the "what ifs" of giving birth. I've also started to worry about my baby having any problems that we are unaware of while she is in the womb. Yesterday, Mike was reading me a story about a little girl who passed away and she was only five. I told Mike, "what if WE are going to be parents of a little girl that passes away?" He said, "that would be hard." His answer was not as satisfying as I would've liked it to be.
There are so many diseases, cancers, accidents that can happen and I'm already getting all worried and worked up while she's not even here. I think I've spent too much time at the hospital with parents of sick kids and kids with cancer. I know first hand the amount of suffering those kids and parents go through. Aghhh, so much negativity in this world. I am the biggest worry wort too. I need to try to stop worrying about the "what ifs" and just enjoy the fact that I have been blessed to have been pregnant for this long. Some people never get that blessing. I need to be thankful for her every move and every wiggle, I know people spend years praying for what I already have. For now I guess I'll just keep myself distracted and keep praying that this little girl continues to grow healthy and that she has a safe delivery.
*35 Weeks*
This week I am starting to feel a little less achy on my pelvis. My joints still feel like that are about to dislocate but, I know that means my body is getting right on track for that delivery. I'm starting to notice a little more swelling in my ankles, but that's only minimal.
*36 weeks*
This week I am feeling the baby high up in my ribs. I remember thinking if I would ever feel movement up so high when I was only a couple of months along. Now I know the answer is, yes! I think her bum is under one rib and her little feet must be under my other rib. It's definitely a different feeling. I have to sit really straight if not I feel like i'm squishing her. She is in the right position as of now. I keep hoping she' stays that way!
*37 weeks*
This week I have started to feel more cramps. I get a little excited every time that happens because I know it means that we are getting that much closer. I am curious about what contractions will feel like and if I will be able to stand the pain. I have watched just about every labor and delivery video on you tube as well as breast feeding and prenatal videos. I make Mike watch them too because we have no idea what we're getting ourselves into. I wonder when she will be here and what kind of delivery I will have. Of course I am hoping that my water doesn't break so that I will be able to labor in my comfy home as much as possible before going to the hospital. I've tried to prepare Michael by telling him that I might turn into a monster with the pain of contractions. We shall see if he is up for the challenge! I'm also all done with work this week and I'm enjoying maternity leave. My co-workers have been beyond amazing helping me out so much these past couple of months. I am blessed to have the best work family who helped me get this far at work. Now time to stay home and wait for our little baby cakes.
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